LIFESTYLE | The Pregnancy Question

Hi Guys!

I’m at the age now where people are expecting you to get pregos especially since I have a hubby boo. When I’m reconnecting with people, the first few questions are “how are you and when are you going to have a baby?”. Honestly, this question never used to offend me in the past but now it hits a little bit differently. 

My hubby is a few years older than me and oh boy is he ready for a baby. Although, I eventually want kids it makes me feel uncomfortable to give a definitive timeline when people are asking. For me - I’m more leaning on if it happens it happens. I feel a significant amount of pressure and anxiety when people ask. In the back of my mind I think what if I say yes and I can’t perform or what if I say no not right now and it happens. There’s a slew of things going on in my mind. I really have a lot of performance anxiety. Honestly, it really scare the living day lights out of me. Does anyone feel the same?

Any who here’s the do’s and don’t of pregnancy pressures. 

Do

→ Don’t ask at all. I know sounds silly but maybe just don't ask. Sometime it can be a sensitive topic especially if the person has no control on what will happen.

→ Read the room. Is this person someone you’re close with to discuss this topic? There are so many relationship topics tied to this conversations… such as if - the couple is mentally, financially or physically ready.

→ Check-in on comfort. If the conversation flows naturally, check-in on comfortability levels. Slip in a “are you guys okay with talking about this?”

→ Be considerate. There may be other personal things going on beyond their control.

Don’t 

→ Ask point blank. It’s awkward… just don’t.

→ Make assumptions … because it makes an ass out of you and me :). Some of the things I’ve heard are .. you don’t want to get pregnant because you still want to party, you’re selfish or you don’t want to ruin your body. Speaking personally, this is not the case but what if it was … isn’t that kind of my choice?

→ Shame anyone. Everyone has a different path, some people want kids and some don’t. It’s their body, let them live.

However, we gotta keep in mind we’re all curious humans beings. Here are some reasons people dig into the pregnancy topic! 

Why People Ask

→ Babies are typically the next major milestone after marriage or a certain age.

→ People generally want to feel happy and excited for you. 

→ Curiosity and Conversation Starters. Sometimes there’s nothing to talk about and it’s just a topic people can relate to.

P.S. THANKS FOR READING!

PEACE & LOVE,

-Melissa Khoeum Barnett